... And so my journey has begun, in attempt to find the truth - any truth behind the mystery of horses.
For so many of us, an abrupt often misinformed answer to an equine question is enough to silence our inquisition. We assume that any answer to a question which we do not know the answer to is an adequate one, without even realizing our acceptance of answers built on sand and dust, or pure speculation. We are ever so eager to hide our own lack of knowledge: for it is shameful that we should call ourselves "horsepeople" and not know something so important. Think about it! We are all guilty of this- from the small questions to the big ones.
It is only when we begin to question authorship and integrity that we finally uncover the truth or seek to uncover the truth: that many many horse owners know little to nothing about how their animals actually work: myself included. What does this stoic creature really feel? How they learn? How they think? What complex systems operate to moderate their state of being?
We look to "experts", and often take what they say at face value- and rarely question. Why are so many of us afraid to explore, and why are we content to settle in shallow waters? We are content with leaving science to the veterinarians and the farrier, and worse: the self-proclaimed expert who answers questions in the same uninformed manner that they themselves must have been subjected to in the past.
Q: "Why is it done this way?"
A: "Because thats the way things are, or.. my reason is obviously logical because I know so much about horses."
... The next important question rarely happens, be it because we are scared to question authenticity, or for fear of scarring eachother's egos:
Q: "How do you know that?"
... and when it does:
A: "I just do. or someone important told me, or thats the way it's always been done, thats just the way is it.. why are you even asking that? How do you not know that?? or how dare you question my authority and prowess as a horseperson! )"
And while this discussion seems exaggerated it's really not... These are the things that are actually happening that we pretend not to notice and choose not to address.
When roles were reversed and the "experts" were the ones asking the questions, someone they trusted probably told them the same answer they are repeating now. The cycle perpetuates itself simply because someone told them that was the way things are. And they believed them! And now we believe them too, and are ready to pass these facts on to the next unsuspecting victim as if to further justify our capabilities as horsepeople.. We trust in here-say and not in scientific facts.
And I am not saying this with bitterness or anger, but merely stating that this is the way things are, especially in the equine world. Everyone is an expert.
"Windpuffs are caused by riding your horse for too long over hard ground. The only remedy is to cold hose. There is no cure for Navicular or Founder, the animal must be euthanized. Club Feet are genetic deformities and require years of corrective shoeing. "
I can remember each person in my life who told me these things- and I am not at all angry: once I can understand that someone before them, someone that they trusted probably told them the same things. I have been fooled by the same run around dance as my predecessors.
and probably the most detrimental: "Horses are happy living in stalls."
... These are just a few of the probably thousands of "facts" I thought I knew, which meant that I was an educated, experienced and skilled horseperson, when in reality all of these statements are so far from the truth. For so many years, I accepted any "teaching" I received as correct, likely because I was so desperate to learn and acquire "horse wisdom" to hide my own lack of knowledge. I never stopped to realize the chaotic mess that is horsekeeping and horsemanship, since everyone has their own opinions and methods to achieve the same results. I assumed that all of these facts had been passed down from professionals, never once considering that the "broken telephone game" runs rampant in the horse world... I suppose the change happened last summer, before I even realized it.
I was showing with the old man. The only show we went to; a small schooling show up north. Our entry, Devin- that gorgeous dappled grey OTTB, who taught me about the importance of softness and re-sensitizing: that spurs and roughness do not create a willing partner, but a defiant one, a ticking time bomb...(The first time I rode him, he refused to do anything. He refused to even move, despite desperate kicks and clucks and carrying on. And so it was on with the spurs! - which he was said to have been trained with for years: for he would not respond without them. With the spurs in place, his mind was utterly gone- and he responded with lifeless, automated movements, distant: protecting himself from the pain. I have no idea how to use spurs correctly: and honestly I never want to learn. I refused to wear them ever again. It took me months to get him to move off my leg alone, but at the end, we had a horse who would canter from a halt with a mere shift in weight and soft leg pressure, a willing partner. No tail swishing, no carrying on. If a horse can feel a fly land on his back- he can feel you in every sense. Stories of a violent, bucking grey thoroughbred still linger in my mind, although I never once experienced this behaviour from him. My guess is was those spurs causing the outbursts, before he learned to send his mind away from them.)
... At the show Devin developed a sinus infection- actually it had been present for weeks leading up to the show but never hindered him before. My guess is that the trailer loading, stall keeping and being in a strange place stressed his immune system and he fell victim to the infection. He was resistant to work, hesitant to jump- not the willing partner I had found and rescued within him. His head shaking and tossing became severe, I could feel his agitation that something was wrong: and we pulled him from all his classes.
As I was leaving the ring, his nose visibly dripping green goo, his body sweating and sensitive to any touch, the resident coach and owner pulled me aside and told me that the head shaking was likely a cause of the beautiful braids I had painstakingly put into his mane the night before and that next time, I could remedy this by applying a coating of Oragel to his neck to numb the sensation of them. ...As if her duty as a coach and horse owner was to let me in on this secret of competition and horse care... She could not see the pain and discomfort in the horse, only the lack of "acceptable" behaviour.I was dumbfounded.
This coach teaches small children about horses. Likely, as a child, I was also instructed by horse people with similar attitudes and of comparable ignorance... I then realized that adults pay this woman to care for their children and their horses, putting faith in her horse-keeping aptitudes after they have all gone home to bed at night... This woman's opinion was also trusted by the old man, or at least it was until I told him what she said to me as I left the ring. To be honest, the old man was more disappointed that the gelding had "behaved poorly" at the show and that this clearly affected his monetary value. It is only now that I realize my adoration of him and his methods were also shallow- for he could only see the tip of this iceberg...
I did some research when I got home and sure enough, the symptoms of sinus infections in horses are: refusal to jump, head shaking, nasal discharge and general malaise.... Not something easily remedied by an application of Oragel after all I guess.
I think it was after this that I started noticing that not everyone who has horses or is of established reputation in the horse world deserves to be respected as such, and that our only judges of true character are our horses themselves. Horses never lie- and so many of us in this industry have been listening to the wrong oracles, accepting shallow knowledge as true, common knowledge.
This Journey has not caused me to be closed minded at all, infact it has created an open mindedness that I can (regretfully if so) attribute to my lack of funds, knowledge and means to own my own horse when I was younger. Because I was exposed to so many different kinds of horse "facts" and "keeping" I think my mind was easier to reopen.
I was dying to be a part of Pony Club, dying to show and ride, generally be around horses as a young child- that I endured many abuses, much like most of the horses I took care of, although totally unaware of their sufferings. Perhaps my own emotional suffering was enough to blind me and close my mind- send it away, much like my beautiful friend Devin.
I was dying to be a part of a world that was always just out of my reach. Had it been within my reach- I would have spent more time accepting shallow truths, propagating and spreading illogical facts, and today would have had a mind bound by chains and locks.
Part of this Journey will be about horses, the other part will be about people. While discovering the secrets of the horse- I will also have to unlock the secrets of human emotion: guilt, remorse, lies, love, compassion, empathy, apathy, neglect, obsession, joy and sorrow. I will have to face many challenges- mostly of human emotion, since the horse part is easily unravelling with comparatively minimal research and reading. The old man told me that horses are uncomplicated. People make them complicated. People are very complicated.
Why was I content with not knowing the true nature, causes and repercussions of laminitis or navicular? Or windpuffs or colic? Why did I feel confident in buying my own horse- taking on responsibility for such a large animal when I didn't even know what to feed it: and worse, why did I trust other people's opinions instead of finding the answers for myself? Because all of us in this industry are afraid to show that we don't know- that we are not experts, and while it does not require an expert to keep a horse alive on the outside, not everyone is truthful and not everyone is as knowledgable as they let on- and not everyone knows enough to keep a horse alive on the inside....
The Pursuit of Knowledge is an easy one,
The Pursuit of Understanding is a difficult one.
.. and so it begins.
